Osiyo! You’re an IDIOT.

What does Osiyo actually mean? Simple answer, the root means “good”. As part of my children’s never ending homeschool adventures, we have recently been exploring their Cherokee heritage and there is much to learn in the state of NC. We are still avoiding groups of people mightily and are uncomfortable with traveling out of the state and so have challenged ourselves to still come up with adventures while not rumbling with the numbers. One of the cool things we have done is the John White Driving Trail . This trail took us through many small NC towns we had never gotten to see and much of the scenery was absolutely gorgeous.

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There is an old boarding house in Bayboro that I desperately want to see the inside of and then write a book about! Long ago when I was in high school we stayed in a boarding house in Burgaw while we were waiting for our house to be ready. It was the COOLEST house and I missed the chance to buy it a few years ago (I didn’t have several hundred thousand dollars in my change cup so I had to pass). What if you restored an old boarding house and every room was sorted according to a book type and time period? That would be so fun to decorate. We saw a cotton press in Tarboro, the cotton press made way for so many modern inventions it’s kind of staggering, and Tarboro has a beautiful fountain. We drove through Vandermere. We saw acres of fields and tiny charming fishing villages. We saw devastation still, from Florence. We saw 2 eagles walking around by a pond bank fishing!!! We saw a yucky motorcycle wreck-nobody hurt but the bike, thank goodness! Rode a ferry, a short one, purchased honor system watermelons, explored all the dragons in Oriental, saw Arapahoe and Princeville , saw loads of deer and MEGA DONKEYS. Have you seen a mega donkey?? They are MASSIVE. Saw a roaring house fire-it was terrifying. We saw a gigantic giraffe statue in an otherwise immaculate yard, we were swarmed by Hummingbirds in Oriental, saw chubby baby cows (speaking of CHARMING did you know about the Charmin App? Click here made me laugh so hard.)

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We saw an artesian well and then sat in a parking lot and bathed in the smell of woodsmoke and slowly melting pork. It was wonderful. And after all these sights and sounds, when we got back to the shop and continued working I came across the book “Blue Highways” which Shawn has been wanting to read forever but had no idea we even possessed it! It was odd going through towns where there was nobody about, but it was a Monday and it was 94 degrees-literally-so a great day for shuttling around in an air-conditioned bubble. Except for the Labyrinth, that was worth the sweat bath.

Did you know though, that I am an idiot? watch this Yes, indeed! Wednesday NIGHT these two charming women, came to my door. It was after 6 and I could feel someone staring at the back of my head and sure enough, voila, people. I ignored them as A. I do, B. We were closed, C. Stranger Danger. They stayed and the next time I pivoted one of them was gesturing angrily. Suddenly I felt silly, sure it was a friend who I didn’t recognize due to masks. So, I opened the door. Complete strangers. One of whom was livid I could not produce a cake on the spot and proceeded to tell me I was an idiot. Truly! No, I did not punch her (frankly I regret that.) and responded, “Really? Well YOU are not getting a cake!” and then slammed and locked the door. Her friend was mortified as she had attempted to be pleasant and NORMAL the whole time. So, write it down, I AM AN IDIOT.

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And since I am an idiot AND had kids, it reminds of how much I dislike kids in literature. Isn’t that terrible? I emphatically did NOT want to read about Anne of Green Gables children in “Rilla of Ingleside” and look how Laura Ingalls daughter turned out in real life-eeeew. Talk about a Rose by any other name, I have a name for her, BRAT. Which is unfortunate because so many of my favorite things are Rose inspired. Rosie’s Bakery, one of my first and favorite cookbooks and a place my siblings took me to on a birthday trip to Boston. Rose Levy Bernbaum who writes cookbooks that make the most ethereal cakes of all time. And Rose Bakery in Paris, specifically, from which sprang one of my favorite cookbooks that keeps me endlessly inspired. And of course, my vice, HEIRLOOM ROSES . Heirloom roses are the one thing that Ms. Apricot the Donkey and I got into a fight about. Roses are friends NOT FOOD.

If you would like to speak more Cherokee, this website it great, https://language.cherokee.org/cherokee-language-classes/ or if you would like to purchase some authentic tribal art, https://aim-nc.com/shop

OR, if you would like to call someone an IDIOT in Cherokee, “Golagi nigesvna.” But you never would.

I do hope you are gearing up for fall planting! I have been clearing madly, merrily anticipating gardening in temperatures less than 1 million with a slightly lower bug and mugginess atmosphere around me.

“My green thumb came only as a result of the mistakes I made while learning to see things from the plant’s point of view.” H. Fred Ale